I Regret Sàcrificíng My Children For My Career-Wendy Olege
A 74-year-old shares her life experiences and advised women not to repeat the mistakes she made in the past.
“I got married at the age of 24 years to my husband who was a medical practitioner just like I was. We both focused on our career and of course we were both successful in all we did but not in the parenting of our children, our own flesh and blood.
We had two children, Kunie as the first and Tola and second. Kunle was very inquisitive boy and asked questions on everything. He even had a nick name “the examiner”. His father and I got tired of his questions that we started locking up the doors to our bedroom once we came back from work. How I wish I knew better, how I wish I read those posts of yours then.
Three month after he left home, we received a called from a hospital telling us our son was in a terrible state in their ICU. When we got there, Kunle was lying unconscious. He had poisoned himself.
Finally, he got conscious and we were so happy, he looked at us as we sat by the bedside and told us how much he hated use for kíllíng sister. We pleaded with him and apologized. We got to the hospital the next day to see his corpse, he had suffocated himself by removing his oxygen mask.
I am now 74 years old and a widow. My husband could not forgive himself and died of depression three years ago. I regret my years of ignorance everyday. I wish I could start afresh.
By the time Kunle was four years old, he was much more intelligent than his colleagues and he was so lively, you would never have a dull moment with him. He loved his sister so much and we were always proud of him. His father and I were so sure Kunle was also going to become a medical doctor just like we were.
We loved our children so much and had plans to give them the best of everything although we were always busy and were not always at home because of the nature of our job. This made us to hire a nanny and we also had one of my brothers in-law with us.
We did not allow him and his sister watch the television at home and also stopped them from visiting their friends and neighbors. We did all this to preserve our children’s sanity but hardly did we know what was happening right under our roof.
Some two years later, I got home unusually early to pick up my document. I noticed the door was not shut and everything was quiet. I sneaked in to give my children a playful surprise when I realized that their uncle and nanny were in the sitting room alongside with my children watching pørnøgràphy. I hate remembering that day. Not only they watching but they were all n@ked, practicing what they were watching.
One day, I came back from work very tired and my son ran into my room with me and asked, “why do you always close your door anytime you and daddy are in the room?”
“Do you like kissing my daddy?”
“Why don’t you kiss me too?”
I got so upset with him that I beat him severely and reported him to his teacher the next day. We believed some of his friends were already expøsed and may he watched bàd movies at home. By the end of that term, we withdraw Kunle and Tola from the school.
Their father and I kept this as our “little secret” as we were well known in our career. We tried correcting them in love with tears streaming down our faces whenever we caught them in the act. They promised us they were going to change. We had two abørtions for our daughter, since we could not face the stigma of incest.
One a fateful day, Tola waked up to her father and I told us she was pregnant for Kunle again. Her father insisted on an abortion as usual but this time we lost our twenty year old daughter in the process. Kunle on learning Tola had died never spoke to neither his father nor I again. He eventually left home.
I have never opened up my family “little secret” up till today. I don’t know if they story can be of help to other parents, I am tired of carrying this burden without telling a soul.
I am happy I finally surmounted the courage to open up to someone today. Oh, my life is a great mess.
Kindly do me a favour of posting this on your page for parents to learn how expensive their actions today could be tomorrow.” -The old woman said.